Foster Parenting: Chapter 6 Vacations

How We Roll

          When you become a foster family a couple of things happen to your social life. Your friends who aren’t foster parents begin to drop off the grid. You attend a neighbors cookout and pretty soon you are eating a hamburger with one hand while lovingly keeping "Little Johnny" from touching the fire with the other. After you leave a party once or twice with a kid hanging under each arm, your invitations become scarce. Soon you will have new friends.

This is our family

This is how your old friends see you now.

The Foster families you meet while at training conferences become lifetime friends. We started planning our own outings. We would get together in a public place to visit and help police each other’s children as if they were our own. Occasionally, several families would get together at a hotel with an indoor swimming pool, playground and pool table. The kids that could play, did. Those that couldn’t sat at the feet of their foster parent while we talked about kids, case workers, and legal methods of discipline. Sometimes the children didn’t like to sit still so they began to “act out”. I learned some things on our outings that I had never thought of before. 

One evening while we were sitting by the hotel pool eating pizza and listening to music, I learned that if a child wanted to they could pull down their swim suit and insert both hands into their rectum. I did not know that. Reason #8 to never accept a sandwich from this child.


When we were younger and just had two or three kids we could find a hotel on a beach. Once we outgrew that option we started getting two and three bedroom condos. Now we have to find a big house close to the attractions.

This themed house in Florida sleeps 25 and comes with costumes. https://www.vrbo.com/477872

If you are still able to get into a hotel or condo, try to get the ground floor. That way, your neighbors won’t be bothered by your foster child banging their helmet on the floor above them. Also, your kids can't spit on someone from the balcony.

Vacations. I have said before, you can be stuck in a house full of kids or you can be stuck in a house on a beach or Disney World with kids. We have traveled many miles with other foster/adoption families. When you are in line for a ride at the parks and the cast member asks, "How many in your party?" and you reply, "20", they take a look behind you and then do their best so you can all ride at the same time.

Here we are with one of our fellow travelling families.

The trip may be harder and more expensive with extra kids but when you think about it this may be the first time your foster child has ever seen the beach, an amusement park, a cruise ship, or even been across state lines (legally).

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_Doug Lambert has been a Foster/Adoptive parent since 1980. He is not a Licensed Social Worker, a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or any other kind of doctor. He lives with his wife Kari who is the driving force behind making a difference in children’s lives.  Observations made in this blog are based on experiences. Names and pictures do not represent foster children past or present.